Planning your marriage and childbearing: An African perspective expressed in a musical video

In this musical video, Africa’s juju king, Chief Sunny Ade and beautiful songbird Onyeka Onwenu remind us all to plan before getting married or having children. Produced at the prime of both musicians, this musical collaboration is one of the best, if not the best relevant music collaboration of its time. The music remains relevant today due to its very meaningful topic. This is good music with good lyrics and meaningful message from two of Africa’s most talented musicians.

Enjoy the music.  LYRICS (in STANDARD ENGLISH) PROVIDED BELOW.

My young girl with so much love to give, This thing called love is a serious affair
Think well before you agree, If you love life you will plan it well
If you love me you will wait for me

My dear friend, there is love ahead, Take your time and don’t spoil it
If you make children, Are you ready to care?
If you love life, you will plan it well. If you love me you will wait for me

Having babies, is no joke, You will feed them, give them cloth
And give them love too, If you are not yet ready to carry the burden
Why put it on another one’s shoulder?

Plenty children is said to be assurance for old age, Papa said we should marry
Mama said we should bear children, Plenty children with no food to eat
Makes life so much trouble, If you love me you will wait for me

Happy parents give happy children, Happy family leads to a happy country
Plan well and enjoy your life, If you love me, you will plan with me
If you love me you will wait for me

CHORUS: Wait for me, baby plan with me

Lyrics translation from (pidgin to standard English) By Africanblogs  (www.blogs-africa.com)

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Words of Wisdom: NAILS IN THE FENCE

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.  They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.  They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.’

PLEASE READ ON

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.  His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.  Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.  He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.  Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.  He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.  The fence will never be the same.  When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.  But It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound will still be there.  A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed.  They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.  They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.’

Forgive me if I have ever left a ‘hole’ in your fence!

Submitted by S.Okereke

Reasons for low divorce rate “IN AFRICA” when compared to “IN AMERICA” – African marriages versus African-American marriages; which one is doing better, and why?

A reader sent this to us – an excerpt from an online discussion on Marriage – it was a long discussion but due to space we can only publish this much. ARE THE COMMENTS BELOW TRUE? DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? LET US HEAR YOUR COMMENTS.
I don’t think that the African American men are doing badly in the marriage sector.
When confronted with issues like this, I like to think beyond the present day situation and look back at our fore fathers. The Blackman and blackwoman are Africans. The fact that they have been in America for so many years does not change that hereditary factor.
Why don’t we understand that the African man today, is just like the African American man today, when it comes to dealing with their women. So, sub-conciously, the black man wants that African world in America, but it is not available. So, they rebel in their own way.
The reason there is such a low divorce rate today in AFRICA THAN IN AMERICA can be equated with the following:
1. Family ties. The African man lives for his people – family and friends, not just for himself.
2. Due to the extended family system, your friends and family can always come in and chastise any of the married couples about their bad behavior. And they will listen.
3. Because almost everybody knows your wife or husband, there is that lowered tendency to go out and cheat.
4. The woman learned to understand that leaving your man because he cheated on you is a waste of time, because the next one will cheat on you, anyway. So, they stay, and with the help of the family and friend, that issue is resolved.
5. The African woman realizes that if she treats her man right, he can always have that fling, but he will surely comeback home.
6. The chances of a woman with a baby getting married to a man without a baby is very low in the African community. As a result, the woman is compelled to stay and make it work.
7. The African man realizes that this can happen to their sisters also, so morally, they stay in their own relationships and make it work.
8. Very few African women try to control their household or their man, no matter how much money they make above his. And those who have succeeded in getting a divorce due to the fact that they are making more money that their husband find it difficult to re-marry, since the people see her as bossy.
9. Most of the African women are circumcised. As a result, their sex drive are not as hot as their male counterpart. But today, that is changing because most of the women are no longer being circumcised, and the difference is visible by the sexual drives of the current generation of African women.
10. And most importantly, because some African societies still support polygamy, the women are not quick to leave a man when he looks at other women, as long as he doesn’t bring her home.
11. The women cheat less than their men. The African man is forced by the family and friends to leave the woman for cheating, but are quick to force the woman to stay even when her husband cheats. Double standard. But that’s the truth.
BUT THIS IS AMERICA, AND THIS WILL SOUND LIKE FAIRY TELL TO YOU. BUT IT IS THE PLAIN TRUTH.
Note that the AFRICANS who moved to the US within the last 10 to 30 years do have the same divorce rate as the African Americans It is like a fairy tale to tell an American that a man is supposed to date several women, all at once. Americans do not believe in allowing their men to have multiple women. The African American men are struggling to suppress their natural desire to sleep with several women, and they are trying to deal with what the society has considered a social norm – one man one wife. So, under the circumstances, they are doing well, to maintain a divorce rate; which although seems high, could have been worse, being that they have the AFRICAN BLOOD IN THEM…

Session with the Godfather of Soul (The Michael Jackson Narrative) By Oliver O. Mbamara

Session with the Godfather of Soul
(The Michael Jackson Narrative) By Oliver O. Mbamara

It is a tea session with the Godfather of Soul
I walk tenderly into the gigantic hall
Certainly a stranger to the environment
Unsure of what the session might well offer.
Tea sessions; I had many of those on earth
But this is a different world from earth

The venue is gigantic and so is the Host
The Godfather of Soul in all His majesty
Gently beckoning with a wave of hand
He utters no words but I hear him say
“Welcome Michael, please take your seat”
The communication is instant, Soul to Soul

Still like a stranger, I approach the seat
It has my name beautifully carved on it
But the Godfather is not looking
Just like others sitting at the table
Teacup in hand, attention on the screen
With cheerful smiles across their faces

I begin to recognize them one by one,
Great artists and entertainers of ages past;
Shakespeare is here and so is Monet
Beethoven is here and so is Mozart
Sammy Davis is here and so is Elvis
John Lennon is here and so is Dandridge.

I can’t name them all for the table is long
But what is it that has their attention so?
I pull up my seat and turn to the screen
Something is going on down on earth
People of all ages, religion, race, and creed
Unite in a display of love and affection

In one corner, I see prisoners doing a dance
Wait…is it the Thriller…Thriller night?
Shows and awards are devoted to a King of Pop
At the Apollo, thousands come together for him
I can’t name all I see for the scenes are too many
Perplexed and confused, I turn to the Godfather

“Are these celebrations truly for me” I ask
“Oh yes Michael,” He says, “they love you dearly”
“But…but…they chided me when I was there.”
“Yes, Michael,” the Godfather says. “It’s only human,
Didn’t your sister Janet, sing it many years ago?”
“…You don’t know what you got till it’s gone…”

“Yes, talk about my sister, my mother, kids, how are they?”
Tears drip down my cheeks as I remember them
The Godfather waves His hand and the screen changes
I could see my loved ones looking strong for me
“They have to know I am well here,” I say
“They know Michael; they just need time to heal”

Just then Farrah Fawcett steps in so heartily
Smiling like an Angel, she takes her seat
“Don’t worry Michael, you will get used to it
I arrived just a few hours ahead of you, but see?
It’s actually healthy, happy, and beautiful here,”
She utters no words but I could read her clearly.

“Okay Michael, finish up for we have to proceed
There’s more work to be done.” The Godfather says.
“More work?” I ask wondering at the Godfather.
“Of course many of us here will like to learn to do this:”
The Godfather stands and tries a funny drag of His legs
“The Moonwalk?” I ask. Surprised to find myself laughing.

“Yes, the Moonwalk, and more” The Godfather replies.
“Some things you teach us and some things we teach you.
That is how it works here for we are all Co-workers.”
The Godfather opens His hand to reveal a white glove
Excitedly, I grab it and scream, “oh, my glove!” and
In a moment, I am on my feet gliding to my moonwalk.

EPILOGUE
Overcoming my excitement, I approach the Godfather
“I have to let them know I see them and that I am fine.”
“Of course, you could be in their dreams ….”
“Godfather…can I just write them now?” I ask
“If you insist, Michael, by all means please write them”
Gladly, I take my seat and begin to write this narrative.

© Oliver O. Mbamara – July 2009
POEMS OF FREEDOM

www.OliverMbamara.com
www.Poemsofsoul.com

The Story of Sam And Esther – A reminder for us to appreciate our blessings! “LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS”

Complete Version of President Obama’s speech to the Muslim World from Cairo, Egypt

Nigeria beats France (1-0) in their first ever international friendly

Nigeria and France in an international friendly soccer game - Photo by Michael SteeleGetty Images

Nigeria and France in an international friendly soccer game - Photo by Michael SteeleGetty Images

The first ever football meeting between France and Nigeria on the international scene was settled by a single first half goal from Belgium-based striker Joseph Akpala, who tapped in from close range to give the Super Eagles a memorable victory in Saint-Etienne. The result is likely to relieve some of the pressure on Super Eagles coach Shaibu Amodu, who was the focus of protests during last week’s disappointing draw with Ireland. Nigeria play Kenya in Abuja at the weekend in a 2010 World and Nations Cup qualifier before travelling to take on Tunisia two weeks later. France (Les Bleus), former World Cup winners, had started the match with great promise but the Super Eagles quickly showed their class on the break and defended stoutly during the second period to record a fine 1-0 success. The Super Eagles won without several first team players including Taye Taiwo, Joseph Yobo, Mickel Obi and Dickson Etuhu. Nigeria’s defence, which would go on to enjoy a relatively solid game, looked exceptionally nervous in the opening moments, allowing Karim Benzema to lob over before debutant Loic Remy smacked a shot at Nigerian goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama.

The match was very entertaining, with chances coming at both ends as Nigeria steadied themselves after an uncertain start. Home goalkeeper Steve Mandanda made a mess of coming out to collect a through ball, allowing the impressive Ikechukwu Uche to lob the goalkeeper. Only a desperate header on the line by Sebastien Squillaci, which saw the ball hit the bar, saved les Bleus. While Uche appealed for a goal, France charged to the other end of the park and had a Benzema shot blocked by a Nigerian defender. But Nigeria’s counterattacking style was enjoying the upper hand at this stage, with Ikechukwu Uche and Peter Odemwingie outstanding. Indeed, the Lokomotiv Moscow man’s ambitious 40-yard lob only served to display his confidence, and the effort was not far away. France still posed a threat, mainly channeled through Franck Ribery and Nicolas Anelka, who would be withdrawn at half-time. The pair took it in turns to play each other in around the 30 minute mark but on both occasions the impressive Enyeama made excellent blocks.

These proved particularly crucial as Nigeria snatched the lead a matter of three minutes later. Ikechukwu Uche would be the catalyst with a strong burst down the right flank, cutting inside Patrice Evra before clattering a shot off the post via the fingertips of Mandanda. The ball bounced back off the DR Congo-born goalkeeper’s back, onto the post once again, and kindly up for Joseph Akpala, who finished easily.  Les Bleus would be kept at an arm’s length for much of the remainder of the match by the excellent Super Eagles defence. Nigeria would also have the better of the late chances in the half, Odemwingie forcing a save from Mandanda before another Uche effort flashed just wide. France were jeered off at half-time by a restless crowd and matters would only grow bleaker for the hosts after the interval. Andre-Pierre Gignac was brought on as a replacement at half-time and was the most dangerous Frenchman on the field after the break.

Courtesy – Nigeria Today Online 6-30-9