Planning your marriage and childbearing: An African perspective expressed in a musical video

In this musical video, Africa’s juju king, Chief Sunny Ade and beautiful songbird Onyeka Onwenu remind us all to plan before getting married or having children. Produced at the prime of both musicians, this musical collaboration is one of the best, if not the best relevant music collaboration of its time. The music remains relevant today due to its very meaningful topic. This is good music with good lyrics and meaningful message from two of Africa’s most talented musicians.

Enjoy the music.  LYRICS (in STANDARD ENGLISH) PROVIDED BELOW.

My young girl with so much love to give, This thing called love is a serious affair
Think well before you agree, If you love life you will plan it well
If you love me you will wait for me

My dear friend, there is love ahead, Take your time and don’t spoil it
If you make children, Are you ready to care?
If you love life, you will plan it well. If you love me you will wait for me

Having babies, is no joke, You will feed them, give them cloth
And give them love too, If you are not yet ready to carry the burden
Why put it on another one’s shoulder?

Plenty children is said to be assurance for old age, Papa said we should marry
Mama said we should bear children, Plenty children with no food to eat
Makes life so much trouble, If you love me you will wait for me

Happy parents give happy children, Happy family leads to a happy country
Plan well and enjoy your life, If you love me, you will plan with me
If you love me you will wait for me

CHORUS: Wait for me, baby plan with me

Lyrics translation from (pidgin to standard English) By Africanblogs  (www.blogs-africa.com)

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Reasons for low divorce rate “IN AFRICA” when compared to “IN AMERICA” – African marriages versus African-American marriages; which one is doing better, and why?

A reader sent this to us – an excerpt from an online discussion on Marriage – it was a long discussion but due to space we can only publish this much. ARE THE COMMENTS BELOW TRUE? DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? LET US HEAR YOUR COMMENTS.
I don’t think that the African American men are doing badly in the marriage sector.
When confronted with issues like this, I like to think beyond the present day situation and look back at our fore fathers. The Blackman and blackwoman are Africans. The fact that they have been in America for so many years does not change that hereditary factor.
Why don’t we understand that the African man today, is just like the African American man today, when it comes to dealing with their women. So, sub-conciously, the black man wants that African world in America, but it is not available. So, they rebel in their own way.
The reason there is such a low divorce rate today in AFRICA THAN IN AMERICA can be equated with the following:
1. Family ties. The African man lives for his people – family and friends, not just for himself.
2. Due to the extended family system, your friends and family can always come in and chastise any of the married couples about their bad behavior. And they will listen.
3. Because almost everybody knows your wife or husband, there is that lowered tendency to go out and cheat.
4. The woman learned to understand that leaving your man because he cheated on you is a waste of time, because the next one will cheat on you, anyway. So, they stay, and with the help of the family and friend, that issue is resolved.
5. The African woman realizes that if she treats her man right, he can always have that fling, but he will surely comeback home.
6. The chances of a woman with a baby getting married to a man without a baby is very low in the African community. As a result, the woman is compelled to stay and make it work.
7. The African man realizes that this can happen to their sisters also, so morally, they stay in their own relationships and make it work.
8. Very few African women try to control their household or their man, no matter how much money they make above his. And those who have succeeded in getting a divorce due to the fact that they are making more money that their husband find it difficult to re-marry, since the people see her as bossy.
9. Most of the African women are circumcised. As a result, their sex drive are not as hot as their male counterpart. But today, that is changing because most of the women are no longer being circumcised, and the difference is visible by the sexual drives of the current generation of African women.
10. And most importantly, because some African societies still support polygamy, the women are not quick to leave a man when he looks at other women, as long as he doesn’t bring her home.
11. The women cheat less than their men. The African man is forced by the family and friends to leave the woman for cheating, but are quick to force the woman to stay even when her husband cheats. Double standard. But that’s the truth.
BUT THIS IS AMERICA, AND THIS WILL SOUND LIKE FAIRY TELL TO YOU. BUT IT IS THE PLAIN TRUTH.
Note that the AFRICANS who moved to the US within the last 10 to 30 years do have the same divorce rate as the African Americans It is like a fairy tale to tell an American that a man is supposed to date several women, all at once. Americans do not believe in allowing their men to have multiple women. The African American men are struggling to suppress their natural desire to sleep with several women, and they are trying to deal with what the society has considered a social norm – one man one wife. So, under the circumstances, they are doing well, to maintain a divorce rate; which although seems high, could have been worse, being that they have the AFRICAN BLOOD IN THEM…